These Seasons Of Mine🌷

I once nurtured hostile ground surrounded by self-hate. It was, in fact, the most fertile soil to toil for change.

Twelve long months. Acres of muddy green fields, sown for some unknown crop to be grown. The weather isn’t ideal. The farmer grudgingly optimistic, slightly delusional. I am exhausted, yet desperate to do the work, to finally know once and for all, that I could even attempt to hold myself up, no matter how many times I may fall.

I shout encouragement to the One Up Ahead, pulling the plough, pulling me through, only for the words to be swept back again by the wind and, mercifully, fill my own ears too.

Some lessons seem immediate. Others are future-based. This year felt like studying for a far-off exam without really understanding the subject matter. But for the first time in my life, I took medium-sized steps to speak kindly to myself a little bit more.

And so, these are the faint yet flickering glimmers, the moments of tearful success, the things I am most proud of myself for in 2024.

Here’s to a bumpy, pivotal year ~ to knowing, in my bones, the depths of darkness, to those giddy, sociable highs, and to finding in it all some tumultuous delight.

In Love&Light, FS XOX